Naruto New Years Resolutions
by The Phoenix Rose
Summary: What do the Characters of Naruto wish to accoplish in the New Year? Well I don't know but this is what I think! Hilarious towards then end and mild yaoi. Sadly, nothing hot and heavy.


Naruto New Year Resolutions

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: This is just a random fic I thought of on Christmas day 2006. It's raining outside, and everyone is resting up from the day's excitement. I guess I was just thinking about the New Year coming up soon, and I was trying to think of something to write and I came up with this. It's really stupid but at the same time kindda funny, please enjoy.  
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It was a cold December day in Konoha. The four teams all sitting inside going through metal training instead of physical. It was only a few days until the New Year began, and this was going to be there last lesson, before a well deserved break. Suddenly, Gai-sensei stood up in front of the group.

"Okay everyone listen up!" he yelled. Everyone looked up lazily at the sensei. "You are all dismissed as soon as you finish this final assignment. Everyone sat up a little straighter, ready to scribble something down and rush out the door. "You must write down your New Year's resolutions." A loud groan came from the annoyed students, all having similar thoughts. Wasn't this something you do in pre-k and your first years in the Academy?

"The sooner you finish writing your resolutions down the sooner you can leave" said Kakashi from the windowsill where he was sitting reading "Icha Icha Paradise". Suddenly there was a roar of scratching sounds as pencils meet paper. Kurenai stood by the door with Asuma waiting to take the papers from the young ninja. Not three minutes had she given the directions to give her the papers as they left, she was knocked over by a crowd shinobi barreling out of the door and papers slowly drifting to the floor. Asuma drabbed the falling papers, and helped Kurenai to her feet before walking over a placing the stack of papers on the table. "Shall we begin reading these?" He asked taking a seat. "This should prove to be very interesting." Kurenai stated as she took a seat next to Asuma. "Yes, I too am looking forward to finding out how our young protégées wish to better themselves." Gai said talking a seat across the table Asuma and Kurenai as Kakashi walked over to the table still reading his book. Kurenai picked up the first of the twelve papers and read aloud:

Naruto Uzumaki

My New Year's Resolutions are to

1) Become the 6th Hokage!

2) Win Sakura's love

3) KILL SASUKE!!!!

4) Get everyone in the Village to stop disrespecting me.

The four sensei looked around at each other all having the same thought "Naruto never changes" Kurenai continued to pick up papers and read aloud:

Shino Aburame

In the next coming year I wish to accomplish the following. To first master my family's Kekkei Genkai and advance in rank as a shinobi. These are my only wishes.

Sakura Haruno

I have a lot of things I would like to achieve this year.

I would of course like to become a better medical ninja and make Lady Tsunade-sensei proud. But the thing I would like to accomplish the most is to win the affections of **SASUKE UCHIHA!**

Kiba Inuzuka

I want to pass the Jonin exams, relax more and hang out with my friends as much as possible. And of course kick back with akamaru.

Kurenai couldn't help but stop and smile at the small paw print beside Kiba's name before continuing.

Choji

All I want to do next year is try the new restaurant in town. Oh, and probably just spend sometime hanging out with my best friend Shikamaru.

**Neji Hyuuga **

**In the following year I hope to train harder and possible finally bring myself to ask out a girl that has interested me for a while. I also wish to protect Lady Hinata-sama.**

Everyone's jaw hit the floor when Kurenai finished reading the first line. Neji Hyuuga, the ninja with the coldest heart of any of his comrades was in love with a girl! And all this time Gai was beginning to suspect he was really gay and trying to think of a way to get him out to the closet. After the shock slowly wore off Kurenai continued.

Ino Yamanaka

These are my New Year's Resolutions:

1) BEAT SAKURA!

2) Convince Shikamaru to ask me out (or beat him until he gets the message whichever comes first.)

3) Become an ANBU black ops squad leader!

4) BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF SAKURA!

"I knew Ino had a thing for Shikamaru" Asuma thought as he lit another cigarette "I'd better let him know about Ino's little crush." "Of course it would be interesting to watch him getting the shit beat out of him."

Rock Lee

I want to become the greatest Tiajutsu master in all of Konoha! I also wish to become stronger like my sensei in order to protect the woman I love Sakura Haruno!

Hinata Hyuuga

I hope to become a stronger for the person who inspires me and possible get that person to notice me.

**Shikamaru Nara**

**I don't really care what I do in the next year. But if I have to write something down I guess I would want to get a girlfriend. **

**Tenten**

**I want to train harder and become a Jonin. I also want to become more like my idol Lady Tsunade. Also I would love to get together with NEJI HYUUGA! XD **

**Sasuke Uchiha**

**I have several things I would like to do next year, like Naruto for example: **

**1) Kill Itachi **

**2) Become stronger **

**3) Kill all fan girls**

**4) GET INSIDE NARUTO'S PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**5) Use secret family Justus to get Naru-chan pregnant with my child.**

The table went into an awkward silence as they all stared at the astonishing confession the Uchiha heir had just made. Sasuke Uchiha was gay. Kakashi was loving life as he left the others for the copying machine in the administration building.

The next morning all of Konoha awoke to a copy of this paper on there door step. For the rest of the week Naruto was chased by Uchiha fan girls, and when someone finally caught him (That someone being Sakura) she beat him into a coma, putting him in the hospital for three days. And when he was finally released Sasuke nursed him back to health and by the end of the next year Naruto was pregnant with their son. So Naruto Uzumaki became Naruto Uchiha.

A/N: I know everyone hates me now, but I promise this was not intended to be a yaoi fic! It was and accident! I promise! But anyway, leave me a review, flames, I love it, whatever. Byes!


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